Communication is Best Medicine

Waking up to a brand new day ! Smiling because nothing like waking up, knowing you are loved and there's someone who cares about you ! Can I just say I've the best boyfriend ever? Because I definitely do ! And he's the most amazing guy in so many different ways and levels and the only person I can fully be myself with and go silly and crazy without being judged !

So he got me to tell him what was upsetting me, and he miraculously knows what was going on. Instead of what I expected that I would scare him off, he laughed at me for being silly and promised me he'll never pair off his OC again !

But it's not like I'm that madly in love with him or anything ! But still, I do love him, and I'm bad at controlling my emotional side which then leads to me being depressed.. But somehow, my boyfriend seems to always cheer me up. He doesn't need to do anything, all he needs to do was just talk and chat with me and I'll feel like a thousand suns just shone upon the most inhabitable ice cold planet. 

Tho I'd admit, I was kinda jealous.. I guess... But I did try not to be.. But I guess since I love him, I do see why i'm jealous. I mean, if I wasn't jealous then there would actually be a problem !

But it's very embarrassing in a way that he knows bout this but at the same time I felt like a boulder was lifted off my chest. And now I can breathe ! Now that I don't have to hide anymore and he promised to not let it happen again and I din't scare him off !

No matter what, or how many times he has said those 3 special words to me, they never fail to trigger certain chemistry inside of me. I still blush tho he can't see, but I don't think I'd ever get bored hearing them. It's funny how just three words, gives greater effect then reading a love novel or all the poetry the greatest poets ever composed. And I seem to always look forward to hearing those words each day :3

No matter how hurt I am, how depressed I am, how tired and weary I am, he seems to never fail to just puts a smile back on my face, making me feel that everything is going to be okay. And it is. Because, nothing heals you better then Love. And he certainly fits his unicorn OC. He does magics. Magics to my heart and soul.

There's absolutely nothing in this world can ever compare to how much his love means to me.. And how greatly it moves my heart, caresses my soul and soothe my mind.

And there's no place around the world, that I could find, that would bring me as much joy as just being in his arms. Feeling his hugs, his love, his warmth with his love embracing me. Making me feel safe and secure and loved..

And I'm the luckiest girl, who has tasted Paradise, right from his lips. <3

I'm happy, as long I have him to love <3

Friends that Hurt You

Ever met that one friend in your life, that one person that would seem to always come around to push you into depression ? Yes, I have, and I don't know how to struggle through this pain sometimes. Sometimes I feel so tired, I don't want to feel anymore.

I'm a borderline Bipolar sufferer, with numerous Depression episodes for more then a decade. I've seek treatment, only to gotten worse from my horrible Psychiatrist and the medications, so I just stop seeking help and hide, and live day by day, getting by.

People, who choose to act without considering others feelings. I can name a few I know, many whom I can love and tolerate, in fact I do love and tolerate them anytime but just that sometimes I get weary and tired. All my life, I'm always the victim, why can't people just leave me and my life alone..

Worse still there's people out there, that do what they do just for attention, for fun, irregardless of what others feel.

"Hide it.." I tell myself every time.

"You've been through worse, you can do it again"

"You're being stupid and selfish. Now stop being a bitch" sometimes my inner voice lash out at me.

But regardless of what goes on my my mind, one thing that is for sure, is my heart hurts and I don't understand my tears. It's like life doesn't want me to be happy. Whenever I get happy, something happens, or maybe is just my mental health getting in my way.

Whatever it is, its horrid sometimes, and I don't want to get people worried bout me, and I definitely don't want people to leave me because of how I am. Thus, I hide as much as I can, but sometimes, I don't  even know how to feel anymore. I can't stop how I am feeling, easier said then done, but at the same time I don't know what I should feel anymore.

How would you feel if your boyfriend and another guy is flirting via a straight pairing (different gender) Original Characters. You may think you don't really care, specially if you are a guy. But to see my boyfriend switching his OC's gender just specially to pair with another guy's OC and they are having fun having a go at it just feels like a little stab in my heart.

Don't get me wrong, I trust my boyfriend with all my heart. I definitely know he's not gay and I know he loves me. Just that his OC has always been paired with mine, and he said to me before "I'm gunna pair all my OC with yours!" Whatever happened to that promise, or were they just empty words.. I do not know, all I know I dunno why I'm depressed tho I know I probably shouldn't be..

Fact that this guy claims hes in love with my boyfriend's OC, then runs off  rp cybersex with someone else's OC. He also keep repeatedly reply to threads where he talk about my boyfriend's OC even tho no one replied to it as if to bump them on purpose when no one is talking in it anymore. Then he claims how sad he is when he goes to another thread and post and laugh. For attention ? I don't know, all I know is that it hurts me, it's cruel and I'm struggling to hide it..

I know it's going to be a matter of time when my boyfriend will start making art with the guy's OC, and probably even R34. And the guy will do the same. I do not know how to feel about it. I really don't anymore.

Broken promises or not, I don't even know the source of this pain. How can I let such little things upset me.. Maybe its just me and I need to grow up and stop being a baby.. I just need to.. I have to..

>>>>>  http://youtu.be/9G0RKicgyZQ <<<<<

My Little Poem for Vincent

Poetry. I use to write these things. As I was younger there was really no other ways to express myself or vent out. I couldn't draw, so poetry was what I proclaim as ; Painting With Words.

It's been a while since I wrote any poetry, I soon got so involved in my gaming life, I had online friends and enemies (monsters/creatures and opposite faction etc) to vent out anger. But recently, I had the urge to compose a poem.

Well, rusty, things don't flow like it used to, but I really wanted to compose something special for Vincent. So I went ahead and composed this :

Gazing up upon the clear night sky
A smile lit my face and tears of joy filled my eyes :)

Something wonderful happened, someone special appeared
Someone, none other than you, Vincent, you made sadness disappeared :3

Like mist, I thought you were at first on your existence
There but not mine to love, deep inside it burns

Like fate and destiny, taking its time
And now it has ticked to the time, you’re now mine >:3
 
I’ve searched so hard all my life, for someone just like you
Now like an angel you descended, ever so real 

I vowed and sworn to be the infinite joy in your life
I would give you all my love, as long as your heart is mine 

Mystery it may seem, that I couldn’t figure what wondrous deed I may have done
To be blessed and to deserve someone like you, and be your true one 

As I close my eyes and slip into dreams at night
You were there in my dreams, holding me tight 

I want to taste more of your kisses that quickens my heart beat
Thoughts of you and me make my heart leap ! 

You are like sunshine giving warmth wherever I am
Whenever I need you, you would be here holding my hand 

There is no love in this world that could be so true
It wasn’t until, I found you 

Thank you for the chance of a lifetime
A chance to love and cherish you as mine 

I promise you an eternal love sealed within my heart
And through our love, bond with our hearts, we would never be apart 

I love you, Vincent, I really deeply do
And we are meant for each other, and it’s a fact we both knew 

We’ll always be together as long our hearts remain as one
Even until our journey ends, our love will never be done. 

~ With Love, your little bunnie, Stephie <3

How I Became A Brony

My Little Pony : Friendship Is Magic

Bronyhood.

What is a Brony ? If you do not know, this video will probably explain in general what you need to know about this fandom.

I remember being a toddler, watching the very 1st MLP, where there was actually humans in it. I loved it when I was a child, the songs was appealing to me and there wasn't much cartoons that are with such interesting story-lines back then. Tom and Jerry , Roadrunner etc are all silly short stories where one smack the other running around on a wild goose chase. MLP was one of the few ones out there at that time, with more interesting story-lines, moral values and I enjoyed it. 

I don't remember watching anymore MLP after that, as cartoons evolved, I soon too, watching more of Animes and other random cartoons aired in Disney Channel or Cartoon Network and even Nickelodeon which was much later. 

As those who know me I was a World of Warcraft player for 8 years in Hardcore raiding guilds. When WoW's launched expansion Cataclysm. It was good at the start but slowly it begin to go into a downfall as the game was going towards more to attracting newer players / casual players then keeping the old ones. 

Needless to say, I was in a guild that was about to break apart and during our last month together only they discovered there were "bronies" in the guild because no one actually talked bout the fandom. It all started when someone said to me "You really , really remind me of Fluttershy..." and at that time, I did not know what it was.

That nonetheless sparked a discussion and ended up discovering there's a few bronies in the guild. Then they proceed to get me to watch the show but I was really reluctant at 1st, because I love my animes alot at this point and I think I was midway watching an anime at the midst of this and I certainly din't want to have to watch some kids show !

Boy was I wrong bout it being a kids show. After I finished my anime I remember sitting around in game, running in circles where my friend bugged me again asking me to watch MLP. And at this point I was bored enough to say why not, he linked me a play list to the whole Season 1 on Youtube and it was a playlist that changed my life.

I instantly was captivated by the story-line, the animation and everything about it. It wasn't something I expected that's for sure. Not your usual kids show playing dress-up and make up that I was expecting but something more remarkable. 

I was immediately captivated by Pinkie Pie's personality, her energy and joy just makes her irresistible not to love. Like seriously, how can anyone not love Pinkie Pie ?! I start to also see some resemblance of myself in Fluttershy but she seems to be an extreme version of me. Oh and apparently I can sound like her if I wanted to LOL ! 

Well this is how I became a Brony :3 And call it fate and destiny , this is how I met my wonderful boyfriend ! Also one of the main reason I quit WoW, sorry old WoW buddies if any of you ever bump into my blog !! xD

Monthiversary

It 's a month ! They say time flies by fast, but me, I feel like we've been in love and together for a lot longer time ! Maybe because I've always loved you but I'm really thankful for us being together, because through you, I now know what love truly is.

Everyone has their own love story , but ours, has just begun. I want it to be not just only going to be a Love Story, but a story of our lives.. as one ! Because no one make me feel like you do and I know you are the one I want to spend my entire life with :3 And Disney or Fairy Tales, I think our Love Story, is going to be the best of all <3

I really love how our personality matches and how our differences blends together so well. I just love how we can freely be silly to each other like best friends and be there for one another like love ones and hold each other in our hearts like True Love.

With you in my life, I feel complete, there's nothing I want or need, besides you <3 I Love You, Vincent, even though words can never ever be enough to show how much exactly I love you, I still want to say these special three words to you every day, every chance I get. Why ? Because, you deserve to be told, to be reminded, that you'll always have me to love and hold you, not just only through the happy days, but through the darkest storms.

I Love You, I will always love you.. Always ~ <3